The Avoidance Trap
Stress, anxiety, and depression are some of the most common reasons people seek therapy. Due to their prevalence, it is essential to understand one of the main factors that contributes to these mental health concerns - avoidance. While it is natural to want to avoid experiences that cause pain, discomfort, or stress, avoidance can create a vicious cycle that impedes recovery when it becomes habitual. Because avoidance of discomfort is both a natural urge and a barrier to recovery, I have come to think of the cycle of avoidance as “The Avoidance Trap.” Let’s explore some of the ways that avoidance can intensify these feelings and consider some strategies for breaking free from this vicious cycle.
The Avoidance Trap
When we feel stressed, anxious, depressed or uncomfortable, it is likely - even natural - that we will want to avoid the situations that cause those feelings. For individuals dealing with anxiety, depression, or PTSD, avoidance can manifest in many ways. Here are a few common examples of avoidance:
Social Withdrawal: Avoiding social interactions and isolating to dodge potential stressors or negative emotions.
Procrastination: Putting off tasks or responsibilities to avoid the anxiety they may cause in the short term.
Self-Medication: Use of alcohol or other substances as a way of temporarily avoiding/numbing emotional pain.
Emotional Suppression: Pushing down or ignoring emotions and/or the situations that cause them.
The Vicious Cycle
I refer to this as “The Avoidance Trap” because avoidance provides considerable relief in the short term. The relief that accompanies avoidant behaviors even serves to reinforce avoidance as a way of coping with unpleasant feelings/experiences. Unfortunately, avoidance generally causes more pain in the long term. For example, if the thought of doing laundry creates anxiety, you might be tempted to procrastinate the task. This will undoubtedly provide some immediate relief (no laundry today!), but there will inevitably come a time in which doing the laundry is absolutely necessary, and by then the stack of laundry will be even larger! Here are a few of the challenges that often result from avoidance:
Increased Anxiety: Avoiding situations can reinforce the belief that they are threats, making anxiety worse. The more you avoid, the larger your "avoidance comfort zone" becomes. In this way, avoidance robs you of the opportunity to learn that the dreaded task or situation is manageable.
Depression: Avoidance can result in social isolation and reduced engagement in activities you once enjoyed. Distancing yourself from valued friends, family members, and activities will naturally intensify feelings of sadness and despair.
Interfering with Recovery: Avoidance hampers progress. In therapy, for instance, it becomes a significant barrier to addressing underlying issues and developing healthy coping strategies.
Breaking Free from Avoidance
By now, I hope I have established the ways in which avoidance can perpetuate depression and anxiety. You may now be wondering how to free yourself from this vicious cycle. Here are a few strategies that can help you to notice your avoidance and take meaningful action:
Therapy! A therapist can help you explore your avoidance, including the reasons for your avoidance and your personal avoidance strategies. Therapy can also help you identify and implement coping strategies that will serve you (and your mental health) better.
Mindfulness: Engaging in regular mindfulness practice can help you become more in touch with your emotions, avoidance urges, and avoidance behaviors. Once you are aware of your own avoidance strategies, you can learn how to change them.
Gradual Exposure: If a situation triggers your anxiety, it may be helpful to approach the anxiety-producing situation gradually. This can be done in small steps to help you habituate to the situation without being overwhelmed by anxiety.
Self-Care: Prioritize self-care routines that promote emotional well-being, such as exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep.
Connect with Social Supports: Share your feelings, experiences, and concerns with trusted friends or family members who can provide emotional support and empathy.
Conclusion
While avoidance may seem like a useful way of dealing with emotions, it ultimately exacerbates anxiety and depression by preventing individuals from facing their fears and emotions head-on. By working to change your avoidance strategies, you are taking the brave step of coping with short-term discomfort in order to promote long-term wellness. This is a challenging task, and seeking help from social and professional supports is an essential step in the process.
